This Machine Belongs To

Vernon Wright - October 10th, 2008

Halfwit Podcasts Season 1 Episode 2

Obtruding metal rods rolling between my fingers.

 === Credits ===
Produced by Halfwit Podcasts ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).
Written by Matt Spaziani ( https://vocal.media/authors/matt-spaziani ).
Vernon Wright is voiced by Jonathan Swenson ( https://www.jgswenson.com ).
Based on the journal role-playing game "The Machine" by Adira & Fen Slattery ( https://adira.itch.io/the-machine ).  

Music and sound effects used with Zapsplat Gold, and Ghosthack Music licenses.  

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Vernon Wright - October 10th, 2008 

God, I hate glue traps.

That’s not what I planned to write about tonight, but it’s what’s on my mind. We don’t use glue traps at work. I asked why at one point, and Dennis told me they’re cruel and don’t actually do anything to get rid of infestations. But every once in a while, you’ll find a family that buys a bunch of them cheap and puts them out, thinking it’ll solve their problems. They usually change their minds when they find pieces of a rat stuck to one of the traps and the rest of it bleeding out a few feet away.

And that’s exactly what happened with the couple tonight. Young, only a few years older than me. Trying to save money and used those traps before hiring a professional. I get it, it makes sense, but it was pretty bad. Judging by the looks on their faces, I’m guessing they won’t make the same mistake twice. They said they heard a noise coming from the basement for days before they realized it was the rats screaming in pain. They had a bunch of glue traps left over and gave them to me when I left, thinking maybe I could use them. I won’t, but holding onto them will make sure they’re not used somewhere else. I’ll keep them in my apartment for now and get rid of them later.

I got home from that around six and needed to get those images out of my head, so I decided to empty out the box that I got the other day. The wooden pieces are a lot more intricate than I thought. They’re all different and only a handful of them look like straight pegs. The rest are curved into swirls or loops or bumpy paths. Sort of reminds me of those table toys you see at the doctor’s office, for the kids. My first instinct is to bend some of the metal pieces into the same shapes and see if they go together, but I’m afraid of breaking something before I’ve even gotten started. Anyway, it’s not brightly-colored like those kids’ toys, so that’s probably a stupid idea anyway.

Right now, I’m happy to just roll the pieces between my hands, feeling the various notches and textures. It’s soothing. Some of them have pockets like golf balls, others have corners and holes that catch the skin of my fingers. It doesn’t hurt, though. Most of the time it just reminds me to take a look at the holes, since some of them are small and I can’t always see them. And they’re all different, too. Most of them are the same length, but some are a lot wider than others. Which is weird, because the metal rods seem to be more or less uniform. I tried sticking a few into the holes, but no luck. I’m too tired to go farther than that right now. I have a day off on Sunday, so maybe I’ll look at it then. Tomorrow I have another job. Hopefully it goes better than the one today.

I really hate glue traps.

"This Machine Belongs to" is a production of Halfwit Podcasts. This episode was written by Matt Spaziani. Vernon Wright is voiced by Jonathan Swenson. Based on the journaling game "The Machine" by Adira and Fen Slattery.

If you'd like to support our endless toil with the machine or listen to our other podcasts, visit HalfwitPodcasts.com, or find specific links in the show notes of each episode. 

Lastly, the most efficient way to build The Machine is by telling friends of its importance in our once meaningless lives. Some day, This Machine could belong to you.

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