Vernon Wright - November 29th, 2008

Behold the empty husk I've made myself. I still can’t look my saviors in the eye.

=== Credits ===
Produced by Halfwit Podcasts ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).
Written by Matt Spaziani ( https://vocal.media/authors/matt-spaziani ).
Vernon Wright is voiced by Jonathan Swenson ( https://www.jgswenson.com ).
Based on the journal role-playing game "The Machine" by Adira & Fen Slattery ( https://adira.itch.io/the-machine ).  

Music and sound effects used with Zapsplat Gold, and Ghosthack Music licenses.  

Transcript

November 29th, 2008

Well, it’s been a few weeks, hasn’t it?

I’m happy to say I’m not dead. At least, that’s what the doctors tell me. I’m still not entirely sure this is real. I went off the deep end for a little while, there. I mean…that’s obvious from this journal up to now. I don’t know. It felt real at the time. I’m still trying to sort it out.

All right, Vernon. Center yourself, like the doctors keep telling you.

The truth is that I’ve been meaning to write this for a while, but I could barely collect myself enough to string two words together. Those first few days, I couldn’t even hold a pen without my hand shaking. And most of what I said was gibberish. Apparently. Again, I don’t really remember my first days here.

Was any of it real?

I’m sure I’m not making much sense, and that’s saying something considering the other entries. So let me back up a little bit. They’re still not entirely sure where I was. They know I was in the woods somewhere, but all they know is a good Samaritan found me lying face-down on the side of the road, tossed me in her car, and took me to the hospital. I was dehydrated, malnourished, and had what they said might be the worst case of bacterial pneumonia they’d seen in someone under sixty. They pumped me full of fluids and antibiotics and tried to get some sense into me. The woman left her number and asked that they keep her updated. She’s a lawyer, I think. They told me her name, but I can't remember it. I can't remember a lot.

Anyway, I didn't have my wallet on me. I probably left it in the woods with the…in the woods. But I had this journal, and they were able to figure out my name and find me in their system. I was in luck. My insurance from Rodent Raiders doesn't run out until the end of the month. Never ,really understood how that works, but they’ve told me it means that I can stay until tomorrow. And one of the nurses showed me how to fill out an application for one of those government healthcare plans tomorrow, since I didn’t have a job.

Jesus Christ, what the fuck happened to me? I can’t believe this is my life now. I wasn’t doing great, but I was doing okay, at least. And then suddenly three weeks of my life are gone. Probably more, honestly. I have clearer memories from before the woods, but it’s still…I don’t know, blurry? Is that the right word? Those earlier journal entries bring back images, but it’s hard to believe it’s me, even though it’s clearly my handwriting.

I feel…I don’t know. I feel a lot of things. I feel lonely. The nurses and doctors have been friendly, but I don’t really know any of them. Dennis has called a few times. I listed him as my emergency contact when I started working with him, so they called him, and he’s been trying to stay updated. He’s already in Wisconsin, so there’s not much he can do, but he says he’s trying to figure something out for me. My parents haven’t visited. I don’t know if they’ve even been told, but I’m sure as hell not gonna be the one to do that, after the way they’ve acted. So other than that…no one.

And I miss Nigel. I’m worried about him.

And I’m restless, too, that’s the other thing. I’ve been healing and getting better, but every day I’m just sitting in the same bed watching the same shitty game shows and soap operas. None of the hospital shows I’ve watched prepared me for how boring it would be to heal. I’m itching to get out there and do something. I lost a huge chunk of my life to a project that will never be finished. I need to do something else.

"This Machine Belongs to" is a production of Halfwit Podcasts. This episode was written by Matt Spaziani. Vernon Wright is voiced by Jonathan Swenson. Based on the journaling game "The Machine" by Adira and Fen Slattery.

If you'd like to support our endless toil with the machine or listen to our other podcasts, visit HalfwitPodcasts.com, or find specific links in the show notes of each episode. 

Lastly, the most efficient way to build The Machine is by telling friends of its importance in our once meaningless lives. Some day, This Machine could belong to you.